Genetic Genealogy and Family Truth

Family psychology straddles both individual psychology and sociology. The Journal of Family Psychology states that family psychology

"includes systems perspectives on the multiple influences on relationships, developmental perspectives on how relationships are formed and sustained over time, cultural perspectives on how society and traditions affect relationships, the intersection of individual differences and social relationships, and practice components in how to affect real and meaningful changes in couple, parent, and family relationships."

Some individual psychological problems can be traced to what I call "family structure issues". This is where the structure of the family itself is the root of the issue. Omissions of the truth, partial truths, and outright lies about the structure of the family — who is related to whom and how — can cause varying levels of individual trauma and negative relationships.

Surprisingly, this is where the role of genealogy can help by uncovering the truth. The last 20 years has seen the rise of genetic genealogy with consumer DNA tests. This has led to the remarkable rise in the discovery of Non-Paternity Events (NPEs), where people discover that their father that they have known, or the father listed on their birth certificate, is not their biological father. This is also known as a Misattributed Parentage Event (MPE).



Many of these relationships are hidden from the resultant child by the mother due to individual and societal shame. The relationship is hidden by various ways such as omissions of truth, partial truths, or outright lies. This affects the relationship between parent and child, and between siblings if knowledge of the truthful relationship is not shared. The power differential between parent and child contributes to negative relationships.

Genetic genealogy can help to uncover the truth of biological relationships and expose the lies that have damaged relationships over time. Getting to the truth, is the first step. Healing is the more challenging consequence. Many people who have an NPE or MPE (whether themselves or within the family) have found solace in support groups, such as a private, screened Facebook group dedicated to this topic.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" is also true, sometimes. If an MPE happened in a family, there might be other instances of MPEs in the family or in previous generations. The pattern repeats itself. We start seeing the beginnings of "generational trauma" — multiple generations of shame and lies affecting many people and their family relationships.

Reclaiming the truth, exploring and understanding this new new identity, even when faced with resistance from people who are close, can help to take the first tentative steps towards an authentic Self and healing family wounds. We don't have to constantly live in the past. We look back to understand where we came from. But growth and healing can only happen by living forward in time, where we make a different choice from those who have gone before us. 


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